Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (PC) Review

Six hours into this and you'll find yourself thinking "When will I get to shoot some Nazis, damn it!?" There's plenty of shooting to do here, just be sure to remember that the 50 gigabytes of this product are mostly filled with cut-scenes. That kind of makes sense, as this was part of The New Order's charm, which had puppy-eyed beefcake B.J Blazkowicz trying to kill Nazi scum in a world where these well-meaning fellows had won. Sadly, what little sense of balance was there to begin with has been lost. Is it silly to criticise the story of something that's all about killing robotic Über Soldaten? Well, that's the thing: this is not all about that.

Once again, this offers plenty of breaks from all the Nazi-shooting business… but what are you supposed to feel in those times? The mood goes straight from 100% ridiculous to extremely violent and "serious" in a matter of milliseconds that it's incredibly hard to make any sort of connection with anything. The original could be like that at times, but, as a whole, it was a fun ride that managed to be genuinely shocking and dramatic at times. This, however, misses the mark. Take the level of violence, for instance. Mortal Kombat X looks like a Saturday morning cartoon compared to the bloodbaths that this will provide, but few will actually care who died and how.

Looking back at The New Order's 'Deathshead,' what we see is a menacing antagonist who makes you hate him, and without trying too hard to achieve that. The baddies here, while definitely unsettling, rely too much on shock value, as if someone is constantly hitting you with a "Nazis Are Bad" sign. Long story short, this feels as if it goes through a serious identity crisis, when all it should do is this: either be dark with some stupid thrown in, or go full stupid like in Return to Castle Wolfenstein, which had you shoot at tesla-powered cyborg monsters; sexy, high-heeled Nazi soldiers; and undead knights from the Dark Ages.

For all the issues at hand, the production values are sky-high, to the point that the cut-scenes actually cast a long shadow over the rest of the experience, especially when it comes to the facial designs and animations, as well as the voice acting. Does the gameplay portion look bad? Certainly not! The idTech 6 does its usual wonders, and everything looks awesome, although, in all honesty, the design is bit more generic than usual, with very few scenes leaving an impact. The music also manages to add plenty of badassery on many an occasion… Too bad the action doesn't follow suit. Calm down, calm down! It's not bad or anything, but it's certainly not fantastic, either.

For starters, like the first one, this still isn't Doom. That's not a complaint, though; just a word of caution. Doom is all about pushing the action forward, diving right into battle, and never ever caring about things like stealth. The New Colossus is surely not a stealth game, but it's also not an old-school run and gunner, either, as it wants you to do a little bit of everything - a little bit of silent killing, a little bit of finding a good spot for cover, and a little bit of plain ol' shooting. The problem is that this jack of all trades ends up feeling like a master of none, as everything is just decent, when it should simply be awesome.

In many ways, this should be like Doom, especially since those parts where you play in a more tactical fashion pale in comparison to those moments where you just go in with all guns blazing. Unfortunately, even when one chooses to do so, it doesn't feel as good as it could, with the main reason being the fact that Wolfenstein II, unlike Doom is full of soldiers with guns, not demons that spit fireballs. As such, the enemies are a lot harder to avoid, and, in some cases, it's easy to die with only a couple of well-placed shots, making those fleeting moments where you felt like superman disappear in an instant.

Again, this doesn't mean that the gunfights aren't entertaining; it's just that it all feels as if it's more concerned with looking cool than feeling so. There are only a few guns, and while some are awesome (and the ability to dual-wield is still great), most have little differences between them. Not to mention that it's hard to tell the levels apart; most are far more linear, narrow and, all in all, uninspiring than before, and the amount of air vents that you'll have to go through rivals Half-Life. Finally, items still require clicking on them to pick them up, which is downright stupid when it comes to things like health and armour.

Other than that, Wolfenstein II is a pretty solid shooter that fans of the genre will definitely enjoy, as long as they don't expect something revolutionary. In fact, even those who loved the original won't really find something about this to write home about. You go from A to B, shoot Nazis, search for collectibles (if you want), and level-up agent "Blazko" through a simple, casual-friendly perk system that improves your skills the more you use them. Generally, this is not as old-school as most people claim it to be, meaning that, for all intents and purposes, it's a typical "modern" FPS, both in terms of pros and cons. Is it one of the good ones? Yes… but 'good' isn't enough anymore.