Oppaidius Desert Island! (PC) Review

Desert Island! follows a boob-maniac (you), as he tries to survive while stranded on a tropical island. It's not starvation or wild beasts that the hero must survive from, however. No, the challenge here is to remain - relatively - sane while next to his object(s) of adoration, and to the young woman that carries them, who goes by the name of Angela… and that's all there is to know about the premise. Okay, okay. There's more to it, here, to be honest, as the protagonist will get to interact with other characters, and basically try to charm one of two girls (or none), but as a whole, like previous Oppaidius entries, this plays less like a rom-com VN, and more like a silly comedy, full of purposely crude humour, and all kinds of far out scenarios.

You’ll be “raped” by Demon ladies, speak with breasts, exchange oppai-nions with a God-like entity, play beach volleyball with an old man and a monstrous octopus, and your - and everybody’s - best friend Jimmy will appear on you on a vision, as typical angel and devil advisors… although they’ll both share the same opinion on things: grab those mammary glands! Yeah. The third Oppaidius remains as unapologetically honest with its intentions, and that has always been the best thing about it. Rather than acting as something else entirely, like many other erotic-flavoured Visual Novels, this makes it abundantly clear that it’s all about boobies, as well as not being serious. Like at all.

That being said, it’s different than what came before in some ways. For starters, this includes five uncensored sex scenes, which, ridiculous as that might sound for some, feel a bit out of place, as the rest of the games have been quite tame, bar some nudity here and there. Most won’t agree with this critic’s opinion that porn has no place here, and will actually be glad that these scenes exist. Cool. Here’s the thing, though: Oppaidius has always been far more enjoyable as a sex comedy, rather than a sex game. Oppaidius isn’t gratuitous, steamy sex with busty demon ladies. Oppaidius is a seagull suddenly appearing out of nowhere, censoring Angela’s unveiling of her beasts.

Another part where this suffers (similarly to Tropical Cruise!), is the lack of scenes where the protagonist goes bonkers from a sight of two bulging knockers, which has always been some of the most hilarious ones. Gargantuan breasts, while still the scene-stealers, have become a sort of common thing in Desert Island!, which feels kind of weird, especially when compared to the first entry. Finally, the story is a bit all over the place - wait, though. Wasn't this supposed to be a wacky kind of tale, where everything goes? Why criticize the story? Well, maybe 'story' isn't the right word, but this can be a bit too wacky at times, just for the sake of being wacky. In Summer Trouble!, which remains the better balanced of the three, for example, despite the overall craziness, the core concept remained the same: one super-busty girl appeared in your life, and you tried to make her your girl, and that's about it.

That being said, this remains almost as enjoyable as the rest of the trilogy. It’s not a bad instalment, just one without the restrain, and better focus that the previous ones managed to show. It’s funny as it is silly, nicely-paced, and has the right length for what it is. Desert Island! is also very good audio-visually. It’s well drawn, although there aren’t many new assets here, as this once more recycles past characters - and the same can be said about the sound effects and music; they help nail this tribute-to-retro-VNs style it is going for, but sadly most new tunes sound similar to what past ones.

The biggest flaw, however, lies on the game’s bad replay value. Like before, this doesn’t branch out as much as you’d expected it to, as the many choices on offer basically add a few different lines of dialogue - but that’s not the issue here. That would be how strict the steps towards any ending besides the bad one are. You’ll play and replay, and still not manage to reach a better finale, no matter what combination of choices you’ll try, making each subsequent playthrough quite frustrating, especially since each attempt forces you to replay a - mostly luck-based - beach volley mini-game that got boring after one, single, match. In conclusion, try it out if a fan, avoid if you didn’t find previous games that interesting.