Haydee 2 (PC) Review

Okay, let get it over with right from the start. Haydee wears sexy high heels, has long, beautiful black hair, and a pair of juicy lips. More importantly, she has L-cup breasts, which behave like balloons filled with jelly when she moves around, and when she crouches she shoves her enormous behinds right into your face. Even the simple act of walking is done in a way that’s somewhat erotic, and Haydee’s eyes follow the camera as it moves around her, which means that she is looking at you - you perv. Basically, she is a hentai-inspired adult movie star. There's a reason why she looks like that lore-wise, but few will care about it, because, as it's known, sexuality is the bane of all existence. In conclusion, people will either flock to the game "because bewbs!" or make sure to stay away for the same exact reason; because bewbs. Well, their loss. Haydee 2 is an excellently crafted, highly enjoyable action-adventure, that will please those who are into those obscure indies that keep the flame of retro gaming burning.

This is a hardcore metroidvania that puts players on a large labyrinth, throws away the key as well as the instructions, and expects them to beat it with their skill and their skill alone. It's understandable why not everyone will agree, yet this critic applauds the small Russian studio behind this gem of an indie series for sticking to its vision, and simply not giving a damn. In fact, this sequel has even managed to enrage its small fanbase, by ditching the iconic cyborg look of its titular heroine. Sure, it sort of makes sense, as the latter was vastly more memorable, but the new look is great too. Thankfully, since this remains a very mod-friendly title, one can easily find the original model… as well as other, more questionable options.

What's the story exactly? Well, it just so happens that, once more, this follows - a - Haydee as she tries to escape from one more complex where high-tech sex dolls/personal bodyguards are being manufactured. Taking a page from Dark Souls, or more specifically, one more page, as these two share a lot of elements, you are left on your own to piece together what is going on, with the narrative used here being a mix of tiny bits of lore thrown here and there for Haydee to discover, as well as some environmental storytelling. Without giving much away, it's good. Much less cryptic than before, yet still not eager to hand out its secrets, which depending on who’s behind the gamepad, can either be a great or a bad thing.

Yup. The heavy erotic themes can be very distracting. Yes. This isn’t exactly a game one can play while the wife/mom/child/boss/guardian angel is around. While the story sort of provides players with an excuse for the larger-than-life tattas and lust-inducing figures, some will just find it hard to take this seriously, especially since the raunchiness has now been increased. Semi-naked, or completely naked Haydee models scattered around, many times in suggestive poses; key-cards and ammo boxes with said models in their - impressive - birthday suits on the cover; and, more importantly, tons, literally tons of posters that are basically sexual parodies of other video games (and not only) that use a naked Haydee, and which add a touch of Leisure Suit Larry humour that feels a bit out of place here. The frequent view of female body parts is by no means an unwelcome sight. The problem is that the posters and the scattered Haydee models are way too abundant, and as a result kind of immersion-breaking. The good news? First, there is a censorship option for all you prunes. Just kidding prunes…

What’s really great here is that while many will feel a bit… weird from all the naughtiness at hand, the actual adventure can be so engrossing, that after a while you'll find it hard to pay attention to all this stimulating titillation. In fact, you’ll forget that it’s even there. Haydee 2, like its forbearer, is a survival horror experience at its core, and one with quite the grimdark atmosphere at that, as it soon manages to make you feel as if you are imprisoned in a dead, but still hostile world, where there's no escape. It certainly helps that this is an upgrade audio-visually.

While some parts of the original’s DNA can be seen on the art style of the sequel, the facility is now far more detailed, less like an - artificial-looking - training course, and more like a place where people used to live and work in, with each section once again being color-coded so that it stands out from the rest. The use of lighting is simple, but effective in giving this its mysterious aura, and the very… Silent Hill-esque, minimalist use of sound effects is pleasantly deafening - and never forget the fantastic OST by Vlad Plotnikov, which sounds like the "Save Room Theme" from Resident Evil, but far more funereal and ominous than it.

This can be downright creepy, especially as one gets closer to the end, learns more about the backstory, and witnesses lots of sexy ladies lying around the place, in a way that's more unsettling than actually arousing. In the end, however, it's the way this plays that completely immerses you in it. In essence an over-the-shoulder, third-person shooter and action-adventure, Haydee must explore a vast maze full of things that try to harm her, with the level design being… old-school tier unforgiving, forcing players to pay attention to their surroundings, and think before acting, especially in the first handful of hours, where they are left to learn the ropes on their own, with no handholding whatsoever.

That being said, this is much, much less sadistic than the original. Sadly, one of the reasons is that it features none of the extremely demanding platforming of the latter, which is a shame really, as it removes one of its best, as well as its more challenging aspects. What's left is a shooter/puzzler that still needs you to be careful with your resources, but significantly less than before, especially for those who love searching around and hoarding items. Moreover, save disc item no more, Haydee can now register her progress simply by paying a visit to the right room, although one still needs to be careful, and not make their life harder by saving after, say, needlessly wasting their bullets by missing more than once or twice.

It's important to note that while a lot more shooting will now be required, this still can't be called a shooter. In fact, it's not even a puzzle game anymore. There's no point in beating around the bush; Haydee 2 is Haydee's much more approachable but also less interesting twin sister. What started as an adventure that blended exploration, puzzles, platforming, shooting, and survival tactics, now is mainly an exploration game, with a big, and very complex labyrinth, filled with key-items that Haydee needs to find, in order to unlock new areas, and then repeat the process for about 12 hours or so.

…And yet, for some strange reason, this will keep you glued to your seat, despite it being an easier and more straightforward affair, which kind of lacks variety in terms of mechanics, enemies, and combat/puzzle scenarios. The reason is that, apart from it simply being fun to play, plus respectful of your intelligence like only a handful of games do, the whole thing is noticeably more streamlined and better paced, with a focused design that, combined with the insane level of immersion available, grabs, and never lets go, no matter how frustrating the daedal structure of this microcosm occasionally gets.

Even better? The cake isn't a lie.