Pixel Slime U (Wii U) Review

When it comes to creating a solid game there are many aspects that need to be accounted for. When it comes to making a mediocre game there are still aspects that much be accounted for. They are simple things, such as 'trying to reduce frustration' and 'consistency.' When it comes to bad games, like developer and publisher RCMADIAX opted to do, there are no such standards to be held. Pixel Slime U was clearly cut from the cloth of the latter category. The task here is to navigate a small piece of slime (how apt a comparison to this game) through a spike-filled maze to reach the end goal. The only control given is the ability to cause the slime to jump. Otherwise, it will continually move forwards.

The problem is blatant right from the get-go and should not even really need that much of an explanation. With the player robbed of all forms of control beyond the ability to jump, there is no form of thought or even real challenge beyond 'learn to press jump at the right time.' That is how every 'level' is solved: simply by jumping at the right time to allow the slime to leap over the spikes. Except that this isn't always the case, as Pixel Slime U is more than willing to change the rules on a whim. Sometimes, pressing jump will cause the slime to jump; sometimes it will, instead, cause the slime to flip over to the underside of the stage. Other times, it will cause it to invert gravity and jump up to the ceiling and down again.

Not even the basic design of the stages can maintain consistency! On one stage, the platforms suddenly vanish and become invisible, while on another the slime suddenly gains the ability to jump in mid-air without having to touch the ground - a trait that is never hinted at before, and that vanishes away instantly afterwards, never to be mentioned again. To make it even worse, there is the notion that suddenly flipping the screen from left to right, bottom to top, both, or outright spinning things around wildly, is a legitimate way to make Pixel Slime U more interesting and challenging. Playing a Mario game is fun. Trying to perform a run through a title with the minimum amount of jumps is fun and challenging. Trying to play a Mario game while on a bumpy road with people constantly knocking the screen from side to side is just frustrating and not challenging at all.

To top it off, Pixel Slime U doesn't even have sustenance. With each level only taking about half-a-minute to beat, and with only forty levels in total, this can easily be beaten in under an hour. This is not a game! Even swimwear DLC for other games holds more substance than this, as they both cost less (usually) and can at least be fun to look at. This is a Skinner box mechanism where there is only one possible solution dressed up in slime and placed on an online market. There are Flash games on the web that are easily leagues better than this. The only reason it is even difficult is its tendency to suddenly alter the rules and because the slime is incapable of stopping for any reason. There is no thought, there is little to no consistency, there is no substance. This is not a game.