Euclidean (PC) Review

Euclidean, to someone who is freshly gazing upon it, doesn't really make sense. The player falls, stuff tries to kill them (apparently all the stuff), and they make it to the bottom, landing in an orb and being transported to the next locale. It's built as a geometric horror game, and definitely bears many similarities to auto-runners. The controls are minute, and the levels are short.

Falling should be, in theory, a dizzying and terrifying experience. At no point does Euclidean feel like either of these things. It feels like a tunnel filled with creepy beats that seek to kill the player. They live by no rules, and obey no human word, to a fault. The things that must be avoided don't seem to really care how the user is engaging with them; they will behave however they want. One squid-like beast, in particular, is exceedingly frustrating and loves to play the Game Over screen like a fiddle.

The slow pace of the fall, it can only be assumed, is meant to allow enough time to react. Too bad it's too much time; way too much time. Nothing ever feels intense, heart throbbing, gut wrenching, or even spooky. Even the ambient music (which is brilliant, yet repetitive at its worst), and the creepy atmosphere can't negate how much damage the slow crawl does.

Games that try different things or approaches are often looked upon as lacking in the ways of content. Euclidean drives that point home. It's hard to review a title that's so shallow in content, but there's no need to fear. There are some interesting things found within the short playthrough. There's almost no direct interaction; instead, items must be looked upon to cause a reaction out of them. It's pretty interesting, but it doesn't change anything, really.

Euclidean is creative. It's inventive and interesting in concept. The finished product isn't fun, though. It's short, it doesn't abide by its own rules, and even though it occasionally borders on creepy, it's mostly not there. Falling should feel intense and terrifying, but it feels so frustrating that it never grasps the reins it could so easily have done. These are the reviews that are the hardest to write, because it's evident that the team really put a lot of heart and soul into the game. They could easily create an esoteric masterpiece, but Euclidean is far from it.