Issue 132 | The Hound: R.I.P Nintendo GameCube

When I picked up a GameCube on launch day I got copies of Super Monkey Ball, Luigi's Mansion and Wave Race: Blue Storm, like many I managed to avoid the pile of crap that made up the rest of the launch list, to refresh your memories:

Star Wars Rogue Leader Rogue Squadron II (LucasArts)
Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (Sega) Exclusive
ISS2 (Konami)
ESPN Winter Sports (Konami)
Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 (Activision)
Spiderman (Activision)
Tarzan Untamed (Ubi Soft)
Batman Vengeance (Ubi Soft)
Donald Duck Quack Attack (Ubi Soft)
Crazy Taxi (Acclaim)
Burnout (Acclaim)
Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX (Acclaim)
NHL Hitz (Midway)
Gauntlet Dark Legacy (Midway)
Universal Studios (Kemco)
Batman (Kemco)
Tetris World (THQ)
2002 FIFA World Cup (EA SPORTS)

Out of that lot, Star Wars Rogue Leader Rogue Squadron II and Burnout were very good games, everything else pretty much stank. From the average to the terrible, the GameCube did have a lot of launch titles, but nothing to make your purse-strings run away crying due to the expense. But the gems that did launch with the system really are sublime. Cracking open Wave Race: Blue Storm for the first time in years was a stroke of genius, even if I do say so myself. Put simply, the game still looks stunning and is still one of the best titles the system has to offer. It is stupidly difficult, requires a huge amount of skill and the water effects are some of the best ever seen in a videogame. For a title that is now over 4 years old it still looks and plays fantastically.

And let us not forget Luigi's Mansion, one of my favourite titles to appear on the GameCube. Wonderfully funny, it portrays one of the best main character's to hit the system and does it all in what is essentially a glorified technical demo. The gameplay is superb, the idea is even better and the whole game is brilliant. I had great fun picking it up and giving it another run through just to take on some of the bosses again.

But out of all the launch titles and most of the titles on the GameCube since, I don't think anything sums up what gaming is about more than Super Monkey Ball. Sure, the series might have lost its way a bit in the meantime, but the original GameCube classic is one of the most ingenious titles I have ever played. Sure, it steals an idea or two from Marble Madness, but putting simians in spheres is a stroke of genius yet to be bettered in the gaming industry. Those of you out there that have completed this game, my hat goes off to you. I have spent literally hours on some of the stages and I can proudly say I have gotten through every sodding level of the bastard.

So where did the GameCube go wrong? Well, look at the launch list, not much worth buying, is there? And then look at all the games in your collection, how many of them are published by Nintendo or developed by a second party Nintendo company? And further to that, the ones that don't have anything to do with Nintendo, how many of them are good? Put simply, the games dried up too fast, the interest dried up too fast and everyone ignored it after a while. Not clever.

But I still love my GameCube, the way it beeps when it boots up, it squeaks and clicks and scratches away like a little rodent as it loads game content and of course the satanic noise of monkeys and laughter when you hold down the Z-Button at start up. It represents a type of gaming that is unique and less loud and proud than the XBOX and the PS2. Admittedly this is why it didn't sell very well, but there is a lot to be said for the great games on Nintendo's little box of joy. It is just so nicely put together, so understated, so simplistic and I think this is why I like it so much. The menu for example, the little pictures on the memory card screen, the 'gameplay' screen with the little game description and dancing lettering of 'Press Start' that spins out and disappears when you do as your told. It is the little things that make the big difference.

And let us not forget David Gosen, the man who made the GameCube what it is in Europe today; a failure. Who could not love the man who triumphantly prophesised: "Quite simply, the Nintendo GameCube will be the first dedicated games console with such an impressive profile of games to hit the market. From titles, like Luigi's Mansion and Pikmin to Star Wars Rogue Leader Rogue Squadron II and ISS2, Nintendo will be delivering the largest line-up of games of any platform at launch. The GameCube delivers great gameplay for all players, all ages and all genres - all at a winning price. Without a doubt, 2002 will be the year of the Cube."

Balls David.

"GameCube will not be targeting kids, will not be targeting teens and will not be targeting adults. GameCube will appeal to anyone who enjoys being entertained by interactive gaming. We believe gaming is an attitude - not an age. With family-friendly, sports, racing, adventure, extreme sports, and action games available from day one, GameCube is dedicated to good gameplay."

David Gosen is now employed as a comedian on the south coast of England, his one-man stand up show will be touring again later this year. I think the tedious, robotic and often quite amusing words of Gosen highlight one thing about the GameCube; it never had a direction. Who remembers the very odd adverts for the GameCube's launch here in Europe? Strange looking moody people wearing lots of make-up and lots of cubes spinning about with GameCube game footage playing in them. Bit crap really. Then all of a sudden that identity was dropped and in came another slogan, another image, another direction and another failure. The GameCube tried to appeal to everyone and in the end appealed to few. It wasn't original enough to stand out, it wasn't loud enough to be heard and rather fittingly, just like good old Dave, it is about to be swept under the carpet and replaced by something better.

God bless that little handbag.

Hound: "One Man and his dog went to a meadow, the dog got bored, ran back home and became a journo."

>> Hound Archive: Do the timewarp on previous issues of this column.