The Crumpet Thread

Melanie Slade anyone?

( Edited 25.01.2009 11:30 by Stulaw )

My lame claim to fame is I once stood behind Melanie Slade in a queue at West Quay shopping centre. Woo.

I'm not sure who that Melanie Slade bird is. First page of Google search didn't really help. Theo Walcott's bit on the side from what I gather. Not wanting to be a judgmental bastard and cast aspersions on the girl, but in that photo she is the pinnacle of dirty Chavness.

Oooh, I've been to her house (Walcott's actually, but she was there)

dartmonkey said:
I'm not sure who that Melanie Slade bird is. First page of Google search didn't really help. Theo Walcott's bit on the side from what I gather. Not wanting to be a judgmental bastard and cast aspersions on the girl, but in that photo she is the pinnacle of dirty Chavness.

She makes Chaveness look sexy, rather than retarded.

Tidy.

^Sally Bretton^. Saw her in Not Going Out on iPlayer (as you might deduce, I haven't watched actual TV since 2005). She was also the dirty office girl in Green Wing (dirty in an excellent way). Got a bit of the posh-bird about her. There's not a man alive who doesn't like that.

MGE said:
And just for The Cheese

By far the nicest looking thing in this thread...damn it....now I want some crumpets...

This thread is playing it far too safe. Time to split opinion:

Not really splitting opinion is it? You just would. I mean she's no Nicole, or Lisa Scott Lee or Davina McCall, but of course The Sweeney would get 'monkey love. It's just common courtesy - it'd be rude not to.

Other courtesy shags include:
Ms D. Smith.

Dame Judi.

Diane Keaton.

Actually, scrub Diane, she goes on my non-courtesy list. And Helen Mirren. I'd enjoy it too much. Damn it, I'd enjoy the lot! What a fabulous line-up of quality talent -exquisitely aged clarets the lot of them! As I was reliably informed by Delia herself, the older chicken has the juices.

The common consensus among people I know is that she's got a horse face, dodgy nose, and that if they really had to spend time with her they would only do it on condition that she wasn't allowed to speak, "eh eh eh arh ay la". The sods are so used to curveless, airbrushed Maxim models they don't know what a real woman is.

Goldie Hawn is still beautiful, even at 60 something.

dartmonkey said:

Ms D. Smith.

Dame Judi.

Diane Keaton.

Sorry but

This last page in this thread has something seriously wrong with it.

...

( Edited 15.03.2009 01:36 by jb )

Mmmm yum yum

The Strat will save the day.

And for the Potter fans in all of us, Emma Watson.

Vicki Blows, my favourite Page 3 girl at the moment.

Perspective:

Why are boobies so awesome?

They really do seem to hold some sort of mystical power...like that episode of South Park where all the guys start grunting and asserting their male dominance after Bebe gets boobs.

When you google search Cubed3, this thread shows up under the link. Good job guys.

Hey saunderscowie, can I hang with you and your friends for a bit?

Boioioioiing

Only good thing about Blue Peter

( Edited 29.03.2009 06:18 by Mario_0 )

I like your beans Saunders, but I think you've got to up your game. Anyone can find buxom asian morsels at the drop of an image-search - obscure children's telly presenters and 90's advert hotties take time and dedication

Mario_0 said: