E3 2006 Hands-On | The Nintendo Wii Report

Yes kiddies, it took over 4 hours to be able to get into the closed off Nintendo booth today. That is definitely an E3 record. Four hours, and who minded? Nobody, that's who. When you finally got your shot to head back behind the LED wall and see the mini Wii world Nintendo so fancifully crafted, it was apparent why this wait was necessary.

People were flat our mesmerized by what they were seeing. Even if they didn't get to play much, myself included, just watching the traditions of console gaming forever being broken down and thrown in MicroSony recycle bin was a near religious experience for all who attended. Just watching the Wii Sports titles in action was enough to have you staring at the screen for minutes on end thinking; I can't believe this actually works! When I swing this thing around, it actually does on screen, what I intended it to do. Well for the most part anyway, we'll get to that on individual hands-on reports. Nintendo knew all that was needed was for people to finally play and it'd be over. The name Wii was touted as a name of triumph by the time they booted me out at 6:30 p.m. today. Who wants to play with my Wii now? Everybody.

I have to admit that I got a little worried first. Actually, I was terrified. Why? Bad luck it seems. The first game I got to watch was the Wii Sports title, Tennis. Who was playing it? The not so famous anymore, laugh a minute, American comic Sinbad. Yes, my man Sinbad was on the Wiimote doing all he could to hit a virtual ball back over the net. He was doing so bad in fact I was convinced that the Wii was destined for Power Glove status and the world would soon end. Thankfully he exited promptly, never to be seen again. I got my hands on the controller and worries were soon laid to rest. It's easy as hell to play Wii Sports Tennis with approximately 30 seconds of practice. But, its just Tennis, with the depth of the NES original; surely I can't put my fears to rest just yet. I need to see something a little crazier.

My biggest complaint I have with Nintendo at this E3, other than no price and no real online details, is that the whole four-hour wait debacle is their fault. The reason it takes us, actual gamers, so long to get in is because Nintendo decided to have anyone that was of corporate status that wanted a taste of some Wii, got to go ahead of you... no matter what. Even if you've waited your four hours and finally got in, if a suit walks up, you are demanded give up the controller and vacate the area so they can get a turn...IMMEDIATELY. This happened to me more than once and was suffice to say, very annoying.

This leads to why I got scared and then fooled once more. Both my visits with Zelda and Metroid respectively had these suit types playing when I arrived. The Metroid guy had the screen spinning 360 degrees constantly completely unable to get a lock on anything. Luckily for him this new Metroid Prime still has the lock on ability. The Zelda suit guy had the exact same problem with the bow and arrow; and when trying to do any specific task such as jump, attack, boomerang, boots, etc, he would generally just muff it up. At face value, it made the games look like they were completely jacked up and perhaps even non-functional.

After I waited an hour for each game, I got my own grubby little hands on them and to my surprise, had just about no problems whatsoever. Fear subsiding, jubilation sets in swiftly. In fact I am inclined to believe those suit guys were actually drunken hobos off the street that had just previously mugged a couple of actual suits, stolen their badges and made their way in. Perhaps a solid performance on the floor would garnish them some liquor money?

I have to be honest, the thing definitely takes some getting used to. The biggest adjustment is that the pointer is SUPER, ULTRA sensitive. A cross hair on a 50-inch plasma screen moves from one side to the other with just a small flinch of the wrist. All those promo videos of dudes jumping out from behind their couches and what not... ain't happening. In fact, I hope there ends up being some kind of master sensitivity adjustment capabilities that come at the hardware level and perhaps applied globally. But like I said before, the transition time to get used to the new controls only took a few moments, nothing more.

What's the final formula for success to this beast? The console and peripherals are drop... dead... gorgeous. It is impossible to understand what the form factors really look like by the promo photos. Think Xbox 360 with a couple extra layers of hard epoxy thrown in and a gloss finish that is so elegant it might actually not fit into your living room as easily as Nintendo hopes. It's truly staggering. Also, picture the size you think the remote is and downsize it about notch and a half. It really is small but perfectly formed.

Before, I felt that Nintendo was going to owe Apple some serious royalties on their newly ripped off image; but the construction of the Wii and its components gives even the iPod a run for its money. Nintendo might be about stripping away the gloss and saying gaming visuals have hit their useful limits, but they certainly didn't apply that principle to the aesthetics of the Wii itself. Throw in the blue light emanating from inside the console and pouring out of its main orifice (ahem), this games console is in a stratosphere of its own.

When it was all said and done, 30 minutes after E3 had already closed, people from nearly every Wii kiosk had to be pealed off the game and escorted out. Bottom line, isn't that what this revolution was supposed to be about? Hands-on impressions soon!

Nicholas Kleczewski